Showing posts with label children growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children growing up. Show all posts

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Pirates and Princesses: Halloween from the eyes of a mom

Pirates and Princesses
        When my children were in pre-school, Halloween was a much-anticipated, momentous occasion. It was a night in which the young were free to imagine, to giggle and scream, and to be who they truly were deep in their five-year-old hearts. 
Back then my kids put great thought into their elaborate Halloween costumes. My daughter was enraptured by Cinderella, and we bought the Disney maiden’s shiny blue dress weeks before the big night. Of course, a blond wig and diminutive glass (plastic) slippers were essential.  
Every piece of her costume had to be perfect; but unfortunately, because she had modeled the get-up for her daddy several times, my showgirl forgot where she put the show-stopping shoes.  They had to be somewhere in the house.  After tearing our living quarters apart for a solid hour, I glanced at the china cabinet.  
Lo and behold, the silicone slip-ons sparkled in the illuminated display, occupying a place of distinction beside my glimmering wedding china.  She forgot she had stashed them there, secure from her baby sister’s grasp. She concluded that the logical hiding place was, of course, among the china.
Where else would you put “glass” slippers?
As dusk approached on All Hallows Eve, my husband and I spent grueling hours getting three kids ready, taking pictures, and simply striving for a photo in which no one was ogling three inches from the camera with their nostrils against the lens.  After I smoothed Cinderella’s hair and attached the last sash on my swashbuckler, my kids’ reality melted into a misty fantasy of fairy godmothers and fiery galleons on stormy seas.
Whether the night was clear or whether a perfect storm brewed, a magical, mystical electricity penetrated their rationality.  It stirred them into a suspended disbelief that vampires morphed into bats and goblins greeted those who dared to approach a house with no porch lights on.  They relished the paranormal pageantry under the aura of dim streetlights but within safe range of strong arms.  
Each stage of life melted into the next, and this year my buccaneer will don his four-cornered tasseled hat and raise his treasured scroll. But my heart still pictures him donning his three-cornered pirate hat and raising his trusty scabbard.  I turned around and a real five o’clock shadow replaced his black-marker mustache which was often eclipsed by a Gatorade one.
Back then, each scrape and scar had a salty story, and a damsel in distress beckoned around every corner.  At age five, he strode out the door to chase his dragons, and at 18, he will stride out the door to chase his dreams.  
May his ship be guided by the compass of faith, and may his gleaming sword slay every giant that stands in his way.
Likewise, my baby girl traded her sparkly princess gown for a shimmery prom gown and now glides gracefully down the stairs in three-inch heels.  But I still see my Cinderella clack-clacking down the stairs in Barbie high heels, not bothered a bit that her crown slips precariously over one eye as she bounds over the last three steps.  I cherished all the memories because I knew that in a moment her chubby little hands would clutch car keys instead of a candy pail.
Years before, she flew out the door to carve her jack-o’-lanterns.  And pretty soon she’ll fly out the door, trying out her wings in a great big world, carving her own future.  
May her every pumpkin turn into a gleaming coach, and may she find glass slippers in the most unexpected places.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Pet Peeves

I’m really a very easy-going person.  My family would argue that fact, but unless I’m hormonal or you take away my coffee, wine or chocolate, I’m your best friend.  However, there are some things I encounter on a daily basis that make me want to Google boarding schools.  Especially grievous are the flippant attitudes of certain members of my household who ignore me as if I’m that teacher in Charlie Brown with the incoherent annoying whine.  
 I ask these individuals, who call themselves inmates, every single day to rinse their cereal bowls of cemented Krispies and to pick up their noxious clothing off the bathroom floor.  I can only think of two reasons why they would defy me—either they don’t remember, which is not valid because they can recite word-for-word their last 15 texts,  or they simply choose to disregard my appeals which, to me, screams, “Mom, I just frieking don’t care what you say.”  Any mom would take that as a virtual slap in the face. 
From one Frazzled Mom to another, here are my Top Ten Pet Peeves:
10 - Putting clothes in the laundry hamper although you’ve only had them on your body for 30 seconds.  (The grimy clothes, wet from an improperly secured shower curtain,  are wadded on the bathroom floor).
9 - It is not my job to flush your toilet.
8 - Plopping on the sofa in front of your spaghetti-sauce crusted plate from last night, completely unfazed, logging onto Facebook. This is not a restaurant.  Scrubbing a bowl of Spaghettio residue that has dried longer than an ICarly marathon is also not my job.
7 - Leaving wet, muddy cleats from the last soccer tournament tied up in a plastic garbage bag for 4 days.  If those bacteria-laden, putrid shin guards are in there, I’m throwing the whole thing away, and don’t ask me where that bag is.
6 - Asking me “Why are you yelling?” after I’ve told you 12 times calmly to pick up the cat hair from the pile of clean towels.
5 - Tearing my house apart 30 minutes before a game looking for basketball uniforms, a certain kind of sock, sports bras, basketball shoes, both colors of soccer uniforms, shin guards, cleats, cleat inserts (so you won’t get plantar fasciitis in your heel again.  I am at Campbell Clinic so often I have my own letterhead), Underarmor, food, water, and head bands for two kids for basketball games and soccer games occurring back to back in one night.   YOU should’ve found all that the night before, but you were too busy conducting crucial business on Facebook.  
4 - Being at softball and soccer until 9:30 pm and learning at 11:00 pm after a glass of wine that I have to edit a 7-page paper comparing a Vampire book to “Dante’s Inferno” or something.  An inferno sounds like a great place for those who used their study halls to make Youtube videos of themselves.
3 - Finding clothes I bought you six months ago, which you asked for, in your closet with the tags still on because they were uber-dorky in the first place.
2 - Having to say, “Retrace your steps!” ten times a day.  Losing the uniform you need tonight—ok.  Losing your new underwater camera? —how ‘bout I lose your unlimited texting?   My last desperate option is following you around all day to ensure you won’t misplace things.  However, having your embarrassing, absurdly uncool fossil of a mother behind you will substantially decrease your swag.
AND THE #1 THING I HATE  -  is the fact that you’re growing up so fast.  I almost have to stand on my tiptoes to hug you.  One of you wears the same size clothes I do.  You sing as you’re pouring your chocolate milk and twirl around in the kitchen in your snow man pajama pants until you fall down laughing.  When you turn 18 in a short while, it won’t be my job to remind you to take Vitamin C when you’re sick.  I won’t be there to make sure you don’t speed going to school.  And it won’t be my job to tell you to say your prayers at night.
But right now, I DO have responsibilities.  I promise I’ll do them with all my heart, and I will give you the very best of me.  My job is to love you and help you learn from your mistakes, to tell you no, and to take the car away.  To hug you when your heart is breaking and urge you to search for silver linings.  I will check your phone, stalk you on Facebook, and help you with English, but not geometry.  I’ll let you fail your biology test, but I won’t let you off the hook.  I will make you pay for that swimsuit, push you to give 100%, and encourage you to dream.  I’ll remind you that God has a plan for your life and advise you that good girls don’t dance that way.  And when you’re out for the night, I’ll fall to my knees and pray for you to prevail against all the spiritual warfare waging around you.  
As you grow you’ll learn how to follow a budget and learn the joy of sacrificing the last piece of apple pie to your son with a sweet tooth and a sticky smile.  I promise to help you face your giants and find your way to the next fork in the road.  Currently I’m helping you find your history homework and your retainer.  “You probably threw the retainer away with your Spaghettios at lunch.  It’s not my job to keep track of your personal property!  When’s the last time you had it?  Are you sure?  You need to retrace your steps!”