Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"My Summer Reading Essay" by: a high school student who didn't read the book

“My Summer Reading Essay” by: 
(a high school student who didn’t read the book)

  1. Describe in 200 words what you learned about Ernest Hemingway by reading The Sun Also Rises.
The author of The Sun Also Rises is Ernest Hemingway, who is a very famous author.  I do not know much about Hemingway, but my sister is a big fan of the “classics,” however I am not at all.  I am more into Judy Moody books because I have a lot of individuality and attitude, and she doesn’t.  

We have had to read many other books written by the famous Hemingway for summer reading in the past.  There is also a restaurant named after him in Destin, Florida which serves splendid snapper in a “Hemingway” sauce, which probably contains alcohol because I imagine that Hemingway has an alcohol problem, which is basically the vibe that I get from most authors; that they are alcoholics.  I am all for people doing what they want to do, but they can hurt someone else and they are slowly ruining their lives.  

independent.co.uk

Because Hemingway is a classic author, I imagine him to have an extensive vocabulary.  Because I am good at peering into the souls of people, I also imagine him to be a little bit bitter because of all the alcohol he has been consuming.  And because he was not as famous as his drinking buddy, the guy who wrote The Great Gatsby. 
timesunion.com

        In summary, even though he was a bitter alcoholic, it goes without saying that he had periods of lucidity in which he was able to write famous pieces of work.  

        2.  Describe the book’s intended audience.

I think the book’s intended audience was definitely college-level or adults.  I think this because this book was obviously written by an author with an extensive vocabulary and a vast muse.   

This book was not meant for high school students because it requires a deeper level of understanding. The funny thing about Hemingway is that some high school students are very intelligent and can actually understand his work, but not every high school student is like that. 

Teachers think that students will really try to dig deep and understand what is going on in these stories, but in reality, students give up because it is frustrating to read page after page of words that make no sense to you. 
gemmlearning.com

        The average high schoolers brain is deluded by alcohol and drugs anyway, so it makes it that much harder to understand the point Hemingway is trying to make. Well, I would not actually know if alcohol and drugs make it harder to understand, but I would imagine it would.  
        
        Actually, since Hemingway was an avid drinker, maybe drinking would actually make it easier to understand what his writing meant, since he was drunk when he wrote most of it.  I may have to try out my theory someday when I am able to drink alcohol. 

fineartamerica.com
In summary, I learned that I am glad Hemingway was alive because if he wasn't, we wouldn't have the nice restaurant in Destin that he created. I also learned that I did not like this book and not to bullfight since it is very dangerous, especially if you’ve been drinking.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Girl's Fool-proof Argument for Fake Tan Wins Her Coveted Spot at Harvard Law School


“I Like a Good Rant” Wednesday


Girl’s Fool-Proof Argument for Fake Tan
Wins Her Coveted Spot at Harvard Law School



hollywoodspinster.wordpress.com


Many of our local teenage girls are members of a certain high school sorority.  In December, the girls in the sorority get to ask unsuspecting guys to a Winter Formal, at which the gentlemen must wear something other than gym shorts, comb their hair, buy a corsage, and take pictures at the pre-party house until all the moms with cameras pause their picture-snapping to pour themselves more wine.  

Necessities for the girls are an awesome strapless dress which must reek of skank, hooker shoes, Spanx,  jewelry, a second or third piercing in her ears, manicure (possibly acrylic nails), pedicure, a professionally manipulated hairstyle, a makeover, a limo, pouty lips and most importantly, a fake tan, which may consist of spraying or lying under really hot lights, whichever is her preference.  
The reason for this custom is that she must look good in the pictures.  If she stood between two friends at the prom and looked like the middle of an Oreo, her social swag factor would plunge like the economy under Obama, and you just might as well nail her coffin shut right now. 

Many girls must wheedle, cajole, or negotiate with parents to finance a fake tan because many parents disagree with its necessity.  

“I mean, I “get” the cartilage piercing, but a fake tan?  I don’t know, Ashley.  We didn’t do that before our proms.”

“Mom you didn’t have tanning salons back in the Dark Ages.”

“It seems as if you’d like to begin negotiations on the limo, which previously was a done deal, party girl.” 

Young ladies have become very sophisticated in their arguments for the parental funding of orange skin, detailing its many advantages.  However, I believe the best argument is one in which the prom “eeeww-I-look-like-Michael-Jackson” girl describes to her mother in detail what will happen if she DOESN’T get a fake tan.


What will happen if I do not get a fake tan:       by Ashley

If I don’t get a fake tan, I won’t look good in the pictures.

If I don’t look good in the pictures, people will make fun of me.

If people make fun of me, I’ll have low self-esteem and make bad grades.

If I make bad grades, I won’t get into a good college.

If I don’t get into a good college, I will marry down and have six Honey Boo-Boo babies.

If I marry down and have Honey Boo-Boos, we’ll be poor and I’ll have a ratty car.

If I have a ratty car, it will stall near my trailer park.

If it stalls near my trailer park, I might get abducted.

If I get abducted, you’ll go broke because you’ll have to pay my ransom.

If you go broke, then you’ll have to live in my trailer and pay my rent because I lost my job when I was abducted for so long.

If you live in my trailer and pay my rent, you’ll go in debt.

If you go in debt, you’re going to have to drink boxed wine.


CASE CLOSED.

HARVARD LAW SCHOOL.