I received an email similar to this five years ago and filed it away. I recently found it and laughed out loud. I changed a lot in order to be applicable in 2011, but I kept some things intact. You just can't mess with perfection.
I hope no one will be offended by the tongue-in-cheek stereotypes, but we should all be able to laugh at ourselves sometimes. If you don't live in Memphis, it doesn't make much sense. However, I'm sure you can accurately replace your suburbs with those mentioned because most Americans have more in common than we realize.
Horn Lake Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small with a Skoal ring on the back pocket, a NASCAR t-shirt and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She has a deer head over her bed and can kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pick up truck separately and get a window decal stating “Good Girlz drive Kickin’ Toyz.”
Orange Mound Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ... unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.