Male Vs. Female Approach to ATM Drive-throughs

Please forgive me for stealing this from an old email I received.   It was so good I saved it, AND I could actually find it.  Enjoy!

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 

“Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines with updated procedures.  After months of careful research , MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.  Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender when using this drive-through facility.”

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Push the “accept” button when you accept to succumb to the highway  robbery bank will charge as your “convenience fee” because they made stupid loans.  (I added that part)
5. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
6. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
7. Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine
3. Set parking brake, put window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.  Dig through handbag for reading glasses to read PIN number.  Drop glasses between seat and console.  Wing it.
11. Enter PIN
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
13. Push the “accept” button (see #4 in Male procedure above)
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
18. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook
19. Re-check make-up
20. Drive forward 2 feet
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided
24. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
25. Restart stalled engine and pull off
26. Redial person on cell phone
27. Drive for 2 - 3 miles
28. Release Parking Brake.